You’re engaged and gonna get married! Your family is so excited for you and are asking what date to save. But you and your beloved have been talking about eloping. You’ve decided to elope. And now you are faced with the question of how to tell family that you are eloping.
Many couple considering a non traditional route worry about disappointing friends and family. Perhaps your dad has talked for years wistfully about walking you down the aisle. Or maybe your betrothed has a large family that loves to celebrate at a wedding. Or maybe it is none of these things, but you are still concerned about how it will go over. I understand! It takes courage to choose what is best for you, particularly when that choice isn’t the culturally accepted one.
You don’t have to figure this out alone! I am here to help you with 5 tips for telling your family you’re eloping.
Start early and often
Maybe you aren’t engaged yet, but the two of you have been considering the idea of eloping. Begin mentioning to your loved ones that this might be the direction you want to take for your wedding. Something as simple as “I’ve been thinking I would like to have a micro wedding in the woods” can open the door to having a conversation. In most cases, people appreciate having some time to process.
Be clear on your reasons
Knowing why you want to elope and being certain that this is what you want is critical for the conversation with loved ones. Being able to provide concise reasons for your decision will show your family that you have put a lot of consideration into making the choice. Here’s a link to a post we did on reasons why couples choose to elope. It may help you as you begin putting words together for telling your family.
Show them they matter
While sending a group text may be quickest way to get the news out, it might catch some people by surprise or leave them feeling a little cold about your decision. Tell your closest family members and friends in person if at all possible. If not, get on a video call so that they can see the joy in your face. When they see how much this means to you, they are more likely to get on board with your choice. Be considerate by thinking about why they might be hurt and address that up front.
Find ways to include them
Just because they won’t be there on the big day, doesn’t mean there aren’t ways for them to be involved before and after the ceremony. From helping to pick out wedding day attire to throwing a party to celebrate with loved ones, there are tons of ways to include them in the process along the way. This can help ease the blow when you tell them that you are eloping. Oh, having a video of the ceremony doesn’t hurt either. 😉
Sigh it out
When announcing an elopement, expect the unexpected. You never know who might feel hurt and who might end up championing your decision. When it comes down to it, you can’t control how people will react. Remember that this is your wedding and you get to plan the day to go as you want. Once you have told your family, take a deep breath, sigh it out and let it go. (Maybe try this yoga video from Yoga with Adriene) Now, you can go on to have the wedding day you dreamed about!
If you’ve eloped or have told your family about your upcoming elopement, please share tips from your experience in the comments. Other couples love to hear from those who have navigated the waters before them.